The Advice Topic

[TheRaven]

Need help with anything? Come share with us your problems and we can give you advice. If you're down in the dumps, or perhaps you're having trouble with a subject in school we could possibly help and we are here to listen. I don't have any problems currently myself though I thought it would be a nice topic to start.

[Swan Dive]

Okay, I'll be the first to peek in here and post (wow, in almost 5 months?).  There must be a lot of problem-free people here.  I must be in the right place then!  :mrgreen: (I jest)



I have a problem thinking of thought provoking topics.  I think I could be a more interesting person if I could lead conversations a little better.  I seem to be better at carrying on a conversation than starting one. >_<  Is that a bad thing?



Anyone have some advice for me?

[NinjablazerZero]

Don't force convos. I have the same problem. I suck at starting convos, but once I'm in one, I can keep it going forever. Small talk is the bane of my existence, but a good, thoughtful, long convo is my forte, despite having trouble getting it going.



I personally think the best way to do it is not to force it, or think about it, but just let it happen naturally. Asking questions is a good way to get a convo started, since it helps you by finding something you have in common. If you and your conversation partner(s) are good at keeping a convo going, eventually one of those questions will get you going off on tangents. Speaking naturally without trying to think of "what makes a good response," often leads to that, and whoever you are speaking with will not only reply to you thoughtfully, but they will also do the same. The best thing is that since you are speaking naturally, without thinking too hard or too much, you're words will still be thoughtful and whatnot, without being filled with fluff or bs or anything. Obviously you still have to make sure you run through what you say next to avoid saying something offensive and whatnot, but you don't have to think too far ahead to do that.



So yeah, basically, ask a lot of questions at first till something gets you talking past that first question, speak naturally, don't think too hard, but still be mindful of what you will say to avoid saying something offensive.



Oh, and before I forget, make sure not to speak for too long. Nothing is better at killing a convo than a one sided convo. Give your partner a chance to respond, say their piece, go off on their own tangent. It takes two to tango, so don't hog the spot light. It's like a game of catch. To play you gotta throw the ball back and forth. It's no fun if you just get the ball then never throw it back.

[TheCloudyEye]

Not that people are problem free, it's just because this is a nested forum, people hardly notice it. Heck, even I didn't notice it until you posted here.

Anyway, about your problem. The ability to lead a conversation doesn't depend entirely on being able to come up with interesting topic. It has more to do with knowing what people want to talk about. Of course, it helps to be able to come up with interesting stuff to lead conversations sometimes, but that depends on people, some are better at that than others. If you really want to be able to come up with interesting topics for conversation, you can just listen to what people talk about and then use it to start you own conversation with other people.

[Swan Dive]

Yeah, I suppose it would be the small talk that gives the most problems for me as well.  I usually am not the one talking too much though.  With people being so touchy about things I tend to overthink about whether or not something will offend them.



Thanks for the tips guys, this gives me something to ponder on.



(That problem-free thing was meant as a joke)